I Woke Up Injured. From Sleeping. This Is What We've Become.

Woke up sore. From sleeping.
Didn’t run a marathon. Didn’t brawl with a raccoon. I laid down for 7 hours like a good little adult and now my spine’s filing a grievance. This is aging? What a cosmic prank.

I wrote a long, sarcastic love letter to this ridiculous phase of life—where rest injures you, dreams involve Walgreens, and getting out of bed is a full-body negotiation.

Read it. Laugh. Cry. Stretch first.